Field notes from the National Day of Action
From the journal of esteemed doctor of gayology and lesbiantronics, Professor Josh Dare, dated Sunday August 12, 2007.
Today, I enter the wilderness. After several weeks studying the natural habit of the local homosexual erectus - in layman's terms, queers - their migration pattern alerts me to a brewing event, displacing the tribe several kilometres from their chosen domiciles in the Prahran and South Yarra region to an area known to the native people as "Federation Square".
Here we see the tremendous ground swelling of homosexual erectus, drawn from the nests on an early Sunday morning with the prospect of recognition, but more importantly, a giant TV screen displaying advertisements for gay newspapers. This apparently pleases the tribe, and they are drawn to illuminous glow like moths to a flame.
There is some remarkable studies from a fellow professor exploring the possibility that the homosexual erectus may actually be a distant relative to the common moth, but this theory is yet to be quantified. However, it is interesting to note how fluttery the tribe appears when placed in the vicinity of a disco ball, and the clothing laced with holes the tribe leaders prefer to don.
Note the red balloons - to you and I, they are simply no more than ordinary inflated plastic. But to the homosexual erectus, they are waved as a symbol of pride to their clansmen, and more importantly, offer discounted entry into the after party.
.jpg)
The suited leader now gathers his tribe before him, and in a gracious generational act, holds a young homosexual erectus high in the air (a move both bastardised and championed by Disney's The Lion King) and proclaims, "One day, everything the sun touches will think that you are an unnatural abomination."
The once-placid crowd is drawn into a commotion, only settling when the advertisements for gay newspapers resume. As in all other gatherings of homosexual erectus, the most flamboyant of the tribe will now perform the traditional and sacred ritual of a capella classical showtunes.
It is now time for the becoming. The true nature of the beasts' sudden departure from their safe havens into the wilderness of the new city square becomes apparent - it is time for the most attractive of the group to pair up, and display their affection. This is a fairly recent development among the tribe, and appears to be mimicking the behaviour of the much superior heterosexual erectus who inhabit the land around them.
.jpg)
Two homosexual erectus of the lesbian persuasion now exchange pieces of ceremonial commitment cake. It is their humble way of declaring, 'This cake and my snatch are the only things you will ever chow down on again'. It is a deeply moving experience, and several of the tribe are reduced to tears before disbanding back to a safe pub with a pool table on the south side of the river.
------
PS. Congrats to Alison and Bianca (pictured) on their commitment Sunday.
Today, I enter the wilderness. After several weeks studying the natural habit of the local homosexual erectus - in layman's terms, queers - their migration pattern alerts me to a brewing event, displacing the tribe several kilometres from their chosen domiciles in the Prahran and South Yarra region to an area known to the native people as "Federation Square".
Here we see the tremendous ground swelling of homosexual erectus, drawn from the nests on an early Sunday morning with the prospect of recognition, but more importantly, a giant TV screen displaying advertisements for gay newspapers. This apparently pleases the tribe, and they are drawn to illuminous glow like moths to a flame.
There is some remarkable studies from a fellow professor exploring the possibility that the homosexual erectus may actually be a distant relative to the common moth, but this theory is yet to be quantified. However, it is interesting to note how fluttery the tribe appears when placed in the vicinity of a disco ball, and the clothing laced with holes the tribe leaders prefer to don.
Note the red balloons - to you and I, they are simply no more than ordinary inflated plastic. But to the homosexual erectus, they are waved as a symbol of pride to their clansmen, and more importantly, offer discounted entry into the after party.
The suited leader now gathers his tribe before him, and in a gracious generational act, holds a young homosexual erectus high in the air (a move both bastardised and championed by Disney's The Lion King) and proclaims, "One day, everything the sun touches will think that you are an unnatural abomination."
The once-placid crowd is drawn into a commotion, only settling when the advertisements for gay newspapers resume. As in all other gatherings of homosexual erectus, the most flamboyant of the tribe will now perform the traditional and sacred ritual of a capella classical showtunes.
It is now time for the becoming. The true nature of the beasts' sudden departure from their safe havens into the wilderness of the new city square becomes apparent - it is time for the most attractive of the group to pair up, and display their affection. This is a fairly recent development among the tribe, and appears to be mimicking the behaviour of the much superior heterosexual erectus who inhabit the land around them.
Two homosexual erectus of the lesbian persuasion now exchange pieces of ceremonial commitment cake. It is their humble way of declaring, 'This cake and my snatch are the only things you will ever chow down on again'. It is a deeply moving experience, and several of the tribe are reduced to tears before disbanding back to a safe pub with a pool table on the south side of the river.
------
PS. Congrats to Alison and Bianca (pictured) on their commitment Sunday.
Comments