Does anybody have the number for Yourella?

Being such an awesome day yesterday, decided to go down to the beach. Kickin' round in the sand, trying to get my first burn for the season (coz it's all tan and melanoma after that), just relaxing - was absolutely phenomenal.

The sun was setting, so I made my way back to the car park to give my feet a rinse under the tap. Dried 'em off, put on my socks and went to put on my shoes. A beach being a beach, there was heaps of sand in the soles, and I didn't wanna drag it into the car. So, as you do, I whacked 'em against a beam to shake it off before putting them on.

As I whacked the first shoe, there was an almighty crack - and in a quick flash, I saw my right hand ring finger at a very pecuilar angle.

Followed by pain. And more pain. Leading to lots of moaning and whinging from me.

The drive back was agonising (everytime I used the indicator it caused a flash of pain and an outburst of profanity), but thankfully I was rushed to the best medical care you can hope for: mum.

She told me it's probably just a sprain, and taped it to the finger next to it to help it heal.

You know how people bang on about a mother's touch? How everything was OK once their mum kissed it better or whatever? My family's a little different. To 'kiss' away the little boo boo, mum ever so lovingly whipped out her secret stash of Valium and Pandiene Forte and told me to knock myself out.

I've got the best mum in the world.

So now I'm all retarded-like, coz my hand is cast into a permanent Star Trek salte. Unfortunately for youse, I can still type; but I can't hold stuff properly. On the plus side, I am getting huge mileage from saying "I've got to learn how to do it for myself" in a spastic voice.