Crazy John: capable of dying
Conspiracy theories were abound at our house after Crazy John died on October 23, a little over 12 hours after we saw him pontificate about his "true Aussie battler rags to riches" inspiring sob story / financial porno for povos on Today Tonight. Heart attack while walking on the beach, they say. Passerbys tried to revive him, but no luck. He was deader than Telstra's CDMA network. (Yeah, that's the best I could do.)
Besides the fact that someone is dead, the timing was perfect. On their show the week before, the Chaser boys had performed the now-infamous Eulogy Song, about how celebrities are celebrated posthumously, even if they were a little sucky when they were alive. Perfect opportunity to bang on about how he'll be remembered as 'Sane John'. They left that well alone in the end - indubitably because it's not really that funny, but also because no one knows who "crazy" John is; except as a poorly-drawn logo for a crappy mobile phone dealer.
So it strikes me as odd that, when the police knocked on Mr Ilhan's home to inform his wife of his passing, she reportedly broke down and screamed, "It can't be! Don't you know who he is? He's Crazy John!". I know logic could be suspended when your husband is whisked away from you without notice, but c'mon - it wasn't healthy John. Do you think the secret to immortality is selling all mobiles for $1?
I let it slide (very gracious of me, I'm sure you'll agree). But old widow Ilhan confirmed my shifty suspicions with her speech at the public wake held yesterday.
"I have learnt about the definition of true kindness from two people who tried for such a long time to revive John after he collapsed before the ambulance arrived. They didn't know who John was and performed the ultimate act of kindness - and I thank you both from the bottom of my heart."
They say behind every great man, there's a woman. Clearly, behind every "crazy" man, there's an absolute batshit delusion woman.
But with Crazy John departed and Big Kev long dead and buried, where does that leave Australia's Adjective Noun mascot industry?
Besides the fact that someone is dead, the timing was perfect. On their show the week before, the Chaser boys had performed the now-infamous Eulogy Song, about how celebrities are celebrated posthumously, even if they were a little sucky when they were alive. Perfect opportunity to bang on about how he'll be remembered as 'Sane John'. They left that well alone in the end - indubitably because it's not really that funny, but also because no one knows who "crazy" John is; except as a poorly-drawn logo for a crappy mobile phone dealer.
So it strikes me as odd that, when the police knocked on Mr Ilhan's home to inform his wife of his passing, she reportedly broke down and screamed, "It can't be! Don't you know who he is? He's Crazy John!". I know logic could be suspended when your husband is whisked away from you without notice, but c'mon - it wasn't healthy John. Do you think the secret to immortality is selling all mobiles for $1?
I let it slide (very gracious of me, I'm sure you'll agree). But old widow Ilhan confirmed my shifty suspicions with her speech at the public wake held yesterday.
"I have learnt about the definition of true kindness from two people who tried for such a long time to revive John after he collapsed before the ambulance arrived. They didn't know who John was and performed the ultimate act of kindness - and I thank you both from the bottom of my heart."
They say behind every great man, there's a woman. Clearly, behind every "crazy" man, there's an absolute batshit delusion woman.
But with Crazy John departed and Big Kev long dead and buried, where does that leave Australia's Adjective Noun mascot industry?
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