LiveBlogging my work day
Definition from Wikipedia: "Real-time commentary is sometimes referred to as 'liveblogging'."
9:16am
Casually strolled into the office, blaming Connex for making me late. Y'see, I was on a Flinders St direct train, so changed at Richmond to a "City Loop" train - which turned out to be a Flinders St direct train anyway. Had to find a City Loop train at Flinders St, which is more convoluted than you'd probably care to realise. However, all this considered, I probably would've been closer to 'on time' had I left home prior to 8:45am.
9:37am
Wrapped up 15 minute internal personal call that was mainly concerned with back pain, coins falling out of pockets and unexpected houseguests. At least to my co-workers, it might sound a little like I'm working. We did set up a meeting for later this afternoon to close off some work we've been doing together, but we'll probably just talk shit for the duration.
9:54am
Classic joke: Is your refrigerator running? Ours isn't! All our food went off and we've had to borrow the parents' bar fridge, which they grumbled about because they're not-so-secret alcoholics and we're stealing their stash hole. Called the fridge manufacturer and got the number of a repairer; emailed it across to my flatmate Michael to make an appointment.
10:12am
Turned my procrastination towards the internet; namely, The Age. Articles that took my interest:
Cop hurt as 500 brawl in Sydney bar
Five hundred people punch on, and only one cop gets hurt? Pretty good innings.
Why 10 is too young for your first Brazilian
Nair has raised ire by releasing hair removal products for girls aged 10-15. My favourite paragraph:
As a cosmetic pharmaceutical company, Nair is obliged to reinvent normal bodily functions as problems with handy product solutions. And the Australian arm of the company has claimed its target audience is slightly older, in an attempt to distance itself from the US campaign, which involves phrases such as "Pretty isn't a look. It's a feeling," "Nair will leave your skin smooth and totally touchable!" and this pearler from Stacey Feldman, vice-president for marketing at Nair's parent company, Church & Dwight: "When a girl removes hair for the first time, it's a life-changing moment."
Plus the fantastic closer:
Encourage them to be children, just for a little while longer. And don't worry. They'll have plenty of time to learn to hate themselves when they get older.
Driverless cars 'on market in 10 years'
Cars that drive themselves - even parking at their destination - could be ready for sale within a decade, General Motors executives say.
But they're still figuring out some pretty serious kinks, as demonstrated in a recent driver-less car contest:
The Defence Department contest, which initially involved 35 teams, showed the technology isn't ready for prime time. One team was eliminated after its vehicle nearly charged into a building, while another vehicle mysteriously pulled into a house's carport and parked itself.
10:22am
Did my first bit of work for the day - two departments have been squabbling over the wording used in one of my letters. Long story short, a client would have died and now we're asking the person who's receiving their money for their tax file number (TFN). The TFN wording ("You do not have to provide your TFN etc") was phrased as if it was their account, but as one department helpfully pointed out in hand-written feedback, "THE PERSON IS DEAD". They've resolved the issue now so I've sent out the document for an internal review. I'm guessing this'll be the "main" piece of work I have to do today, ie. "only".
10:31am
Spent a good five minutes pulling out ingrown hairs from my jawline. Do any other guys have this problem, or am I just gross?
10:43am
Giving an internal instant messenger application (similar to MSN) to employees was always going to be a risky move. Example conversation from a minute ago:
Anonymouse*/M... Do you feel like a coffee?
Josh Dare/MEL... are you buying?
Anonymouse*/... yes coffee whore
Josh Dare/MEL... oh i'm not just a whore for coffee. i whore it for all kinds of things.
Josh Dare/MEL... car parts, drugs - you name it.
Anonymouse*/... I know you would whore it for the saliva off a used envelope
Josh Dare/MEL... HAVE YOU GOT SOME?
Anonymouse*/... sold it already. Used tampon?
Josh Dare/MEL... is it yours?
Anonymouse*/... No bought it in Japan form a vending machine
Josh Dare/MEL... describe its smell and texture
Anonymouse*/... Smells like fish guts that has been sitting in a bucket for a week of 40 degree days. texture is that of rough cotton.
11:23am
Back from that coffee, and thought I'd deal with my emails. In the process, discovered the word "email" is not in (email client) Lotus Notes' dictionary.
12:01pm
Just took myself a little cubicle break - a little time out in the toilets always helps to break up the work day. It's such a dilemma in a polite bathroom though, isn't it? There's seven cubicles or so, and you don't want to go to the toilets at the ends because everybody will go to the toilets at the end (meaning they'll be filthy); and people are scattered in the other cubicles, and you don't want to move in next door. I ended up having to take residence in the end toilet, which was remarkably clean - I figured because it was right in front of the entrance, and people get poo shy. Me - not so much, but I did have to concentrate on not making a noise while fiddling with my mobile. It's the only way to pass the time on the john, as far as I'm concerned.
12:11pm
Now that I've made a little room (haha, gross), I've started chowing down on lunch and reading gaming blog Kotaku. In my head, because I'm eating sandwiches at my desk, it doesn't count as a lunch break - so I'll be taking a full hour shortly. LOVE MY JOB.
1:30pm
Back from my walk - it's my favourite part of the day. Leaving from the Docklands, I walk along the Yarra, kick the Bolte Bridge and then come back. All up it takes about 45 minutes, and I iPod shuffle the whole way. Thinking of upgrading to a jog, which would mean bringing a change of clothes and some jogging shoes. Think about it though: with all the constructionism I have going on around choosing a toilet cubicle, can you imagine what I'd be like showering - naked, in a stall - at work?
1:36pm
Thought the blog entry I put up yesterday was quite interesting, so checked to see if I've had any comments yet. None. Cunts. Time to make some personal calls before a meeting at 2pm.
2:38pm
Out of the meeting - and what do ya know, we actually did a bunch of work. Well, the other two attendees did - I stared at the window at the general Southbank area and decided one round building looked like a breast, complete with a nipple. This is how I generally spend my time in meetings. You would be astounded which genitals buildings can look like with a little imagination. (So many glass penises!)
3:00pm
I'm eating... again. A few months ago, as part of a larger dietary review, I decided to bring in every piece of food I was going to eat throughout the day. In the afternoon, I graze on dried fruit, nuts and sultanas. This supplements the yoghurt, sandwiches, muesli bar, rice crackers and chocolate I bring in for the rest of the day. So, as you can imagine, I spread it out so much, I pretty much eat all day. And the fatties at work hate me for it, coz I'm totally losing heaps of weight. Sucked in, fatties!
3:23pm
Found myself in a bit of a lull, so internet to the rescue again - this time, Digg. Here's what's interesting today:
Giuliani invokes 9/11 when asked about Hillary’s tears
Does Giuliani's campaign remind anyone else of that Family Guy episode where Lois ran for mayor? "9... 11."
On MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Rudy Giuliani discussed Hillary Clinton’s “emotional moment.” “This is not something I would judge anyone on,” Giuliani said. He then quickly slipped in a reference to 9/11, pointing out that it was impossible for him not to feel emotion then.
Top 100 Funny Quotes
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Winston Churchill
4:40pm
Well, that's pretty much it for my work day, and this experiment in mediocrity. Tune in next time as I take you on a blow-by-blow of a good night's sleep. I promise there'll be much more action.
9:16am
Casually strolled into the office, blaming Connex for making me late. Y'see, I was on a Flinders St direct train, so changed at Richmond to a "City Loop" train - which turned out to be a Flinders St direct train anyway. Had to find a City Loop train at Flinders St, which is more convoluted than you'd probably care to realise. However, all this considered, I probably would've been closer to 'on time' had I left home prior to 8:45am.
9:37am
Wrapped up 15 minute internal personal call that was mainly concerned with back pain, coins falling out of pockets and unexpected houseguests. At least to my co-workers, it might sound a little like I'm working. We did set up a meeting for later this afternoon to close off some work we've been doing together, but we'll probably just talk shit for the duration.
9:54am
Classic joke: Is your refrigerator running? Ours isn't! All our food went off and we've had to borrow the parents' bar fridge, which they grumbled about because they're not-so-secret alcoholics and we're stealing their stash hole. Called the fridge manufacturer and got the number of a repairer; emailed it across to my flatmate Michael to make an appointment.
10:12am
Turned my procrastination towards the internet; namely, The Age. Articles that took my interest:
Cop hurt as 500 brawl in Sydney bar
Five hundred people punch on, and only one cop gets hurt? Pretty good innings.
Why 10 is too young for your first Brazilian
Nair has raised ire by releasing hair removal products for girls aged 10-15. My favourite paragraph:
As a cosmetic pharmaceutical company, Nair is obliged to reinvent normal bodily functions as problems with handy product solutions. And the Australian arm of the company has claimed its target audience is slightly older, in an attempt to distance itself from the US campaign, which involves phrases such as "Pretty isn't a look. It's a feeling," "Nair will leave your skin smooth and totally touchable!" and this pearler from Stacey Feldman, vice-president for marketing at Nair's parent company, Church & Dwight: "When a girl removes hair for the first time, it's a life-changing moment."
Plus the fantastic closer:
Encourage them to be children, just for a little while longer. And don't worry. They'll have plenty of time to learn to hate themselves when they get older.
Driverless cars 'on market in 10 years'
Cars that drive themselves - even parking at their destination - could be ready for sale within a decade, General Motors executives say.
But they're still figuring out some pretty serious kinks, as demonstrated in a recent driver-less car contest:
The Defence Department contest, which initially involved 35 teams, showed the technology isn't ready for prime time. One team was eliminated after its vehicle nearly charged into a building, while another vehicle mysteriously pulled into a house's carport and parked itself.
10:22am
Did my first bit of work for the day - two departments have been squabbling over the wording used in one of my letters. Long story short, a client would have died and now we're asking the person who's receiving their money for their tax file number (TFN). The TFN wording ("You do not have to provide your TFN etc") was phrased as if it was their account, but as one department helpfully pointed out in hand-written feedback, "THE PERSON IS DEAD". They've resolved the issue now so I've sent out the document for an internal review. I'm guessing this'll be the "main" piece of work I have to do today, ie. "only".
10:31am
Spent a good five minutes pulling out ingrown hairs from my jawline. Do any other guys have this problem, or am I just gross?
10:43am
Giving an internal instant messenger application (similar to MSN) to employees was always going to be a risky move. Example conversation from a minute ago:
Anonymouse*/M... Do you feel like a coffee?
Josh Dare/MEL... are you buying?
Anonymouse*/... yes coffee whore
Josh Dare/MEL... oh i'm not just a whore for coffee. i whore it for all kinds of things.
Josh Dare/MEL... car parts, drugs - you name it.
Anonymouse*/... I know you would whore it for the saliva off a used envelope
Josh Dare/MEL... HAVE YOU GOT SOME?
Anonymouse*/... sold it already. Used tampon?
Josh Dare/MEL... is it yours?
Anonymouse*/... No bought it in Japan form a vending machine
Josh Dare/MEL... describe its smell and texture
Anonymouse*/... Smells like fish guts that has been sitting in a bucket for a week of 40 degree days. texture is that of rough cotton.
11:23am
Back from that coffee, and thought I'd deal with my emails. In the process, discovered the word "email" is not in (email client) Lotus Notes' dictionary.
12:01pm
Just took myself a little cubicle break - a little time out in the toilets always helps to break up the work day. It's such a dilemma in a polite bathroom though, isn't it? There's seven cubicles or so, and you don't want to go to the toilets at the ends because everybody will go to the toilets at the end (meaning they'll be filthy); and people are scattered in the other cubicles, and you don't want to move in next door. I ended up having to take residence in the end toilet, which was remarkably clean - I figured because it was right in front of the entrance, and people get poo shy. Me - not so much, but I did have to concentrate on not making a noise while fiddling with my mobile. It's the only way to pass the time on the john, as far as I'm concerned.
12:11pm
Now that I've made a little room (haha, gross), I've started chowing down on lunch and reading gaming blog Kotaku. In my head, because I'm eating sandwiches at my desk, it doesn't count as a lunch break - so I'll be taking a full hour shortly. LOVE MY JOB.
1:30pm
Back from my walk - it's my favourite part of the day. Leaving from the Docklands, I walk along the Yarra, kick the Bolte Bridge and then come back. All up it takes about 45 minutes, and I iPod shuffle the whole way. Thinking of upgrading to a jog, which would mean bringing a change of clothes and some jogging shoes. Think about it though: with all the constructionism I have going on around choosing a toilet cubicle, can you imagine what I'd be like showering - naked, in a stall - at work?
1:36pm
Thought the blog entry I put up yesterday was quite interesting, so checked to see if I've had any comments yet. None. Cunts. Time to make some personal calls before a meeting at 2pm.
2:38pm
Out of the meeting - and what do ya know, we actually did a bunch of work. Well, the other two attendees did - I stared at the window at the general Southbank area and decided one round building looked like a breast, complete with a nipple. This is how I generally spend my time in meetings. You would be astounded which genitals buildings can look like with a little imagination. (So many glass penises!)
3:00pm
I'm eating... again. A few months ago, as part of a larger dietary review, I decided to bring in every piece of food I was going to eat throughout the day. In the afternoon, I graze on dried fruit, nuts and sultanas. This supplements the yoghurt, sandwiches, muesli bar, rice crackers and chocolate I bring in for the rest of the day. So, as you can imagine, I spread it out so much, I pretty much eat all day. And the fatties at work hate me for it, coz I'm totally losing heaps of weight. Sucked in, fatties!
3:23pm
Found myself in a bit of a lull, so internet to the rescue again - this time, Digg. Here's what's interesting today:
Giuliani invokes 9/11 when asked about Hillary’s tears
Does Giuliani's campaign remind anyone else of that Family Guy episode where Lois ran for mayor? "9... 11."
On MSNBC’s Morning Joe, Rudy Giuliani discussed Hillary Clinton’s “emotional moment.” “This is not something I would judge anyone on,” Giuliani said. He then quickly slipped in a reference to 9/11, pointing out that it was impossible for him not to feel emotion then.
Top 100 Funny Quotes
"A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on." - Winston Churchill
4:40pm
Well, that's pretty much it for my work day, and this experiment in mediocrity. Tune in next time as I take you on a blow-by-blow of a good night's sleep. I promise there'll be much more action.
that is pretty funny man. are you a government contractor?
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Nah - the (global) company is in the financial industry. I'm in a project team, so it's kinda like being a government contractor - but with less work. Haha.
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I'm sorry, but i'm going to have to call bullshit on you. NO ONE works less than a government contractor, paid by the hour.
I love your day, it sounds like mine. Some of my work was reviewed by my public servant overlords and one of them helpfully marked up my document from "plain, easy to understand english" to government acronyms and insider lingo from the public service mentality of the 70's.
"thats okay" i said, knowing full well I can charge another days work to revert back to the original copy.
sometimes i hand things in in coloured font, to help them understand. this works! clip art is also extremely helpful in explaining the basics eg "name goes in the name field" (insert clip art of light bulb over mans head).
All in a project "days" work!
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I have been known to only do about 30 minutes of solid work in a fortnight. That's not to say i am lazy. When the going is tough i will put everything on hold till the work is done (was at work till nine today d'oh). Equally if things are quiet, i just sit back and enjoy it.
I really like this post - i find it quite interesting what other's do in their day. Most people just say "oh, you know...did a bit of this and that".
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I imagine this post was doubly interesting for you Arthur, as we do work for the same company after all. This is how the other half lives! Haha.
PS. Don't tell my boss.
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