"I'm going to chat to her," I told Michael as we crossed the street to the local milk bar.

"You're fucked in the head," Michael replied.

Continuing on from my post about my not-so-secret and persistent desire to be on Big Brother, another "thing" I have (I like to think of them as quirky character traits, but I'm good at self-denial) is that I chat to shop assistants. Doubly so when that shop assistant is a local trader that I may see often.

Apparently triply so when it's the sweet old Korean lady at the independent convenience store at the end of our street.

I think it's like a challenge. So often you go in and you're just stonewalled by this blank face that scans your daily bread without a shred of life. So chatting to the sad fuckers - and getting them to laugh at something stupid - I dunno, it makes 'em human to me. But more aptly, I think it makes them remember me and OHMIGOD I'M DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION OF ANY SORT.

We got off to sketchy beginnings, me and sweet old Korean lady. One day I didn't have any cash, so I paid by card. She said, "I charge you three percent." Well, it was more like, "I char yoo tree parcent"; or it would be if I was a tad racist. Had a little moan about it to the flatties when I got home ("Three percent! What an arbitrary number!" etc). Forgot about it entirely until the next time Michael and I went to the shop and he paid by card.

No tree parcent.

I don't know if it's related, but seconds earlier Michael had taken his stuff up to the counter, and she pointed out something he'd picked up. Giggling, she pointed at a chocolate bar called Clix from the kosher section. "That Jew food!" she shrieked. I decided she was a cheeky little minx. So I was determined to impress her with the LOLs.

I got bagged out for whoring out forced conversation to her when it was clear she just wanted to return to her Korean sitcom. (I even made a little joke about that - I went, "Oh! I love this episode." Little giggle, but it was either just humouring me or directed at Korean Joey from Friends.) Then she went on holidays.

It had slipped my mind totally by tonight, when I volunteered to do an ice cream run after dinner. Coinage in hand, I trooped down to the milk bar and gave the old lady, back from her holidays, a little wave as I headed to the ice cream cabinet.

And then...

She called out, "You coloured your hair!"

AT ME. ABOUT MY HAIR.

"Yeah ages ago, keep up!" I called back. "Keep on the ball lady! Geez."

She gave me a giggle and a wink, telling me it looked good. And I floated all the way back home coz not only was I remembered, she totally noticed my killer new do. Double points on the ego-stroking scale, and another trader totally pwned by the power of the LOL.